The Timelord and the Shopgirl

location: work

mood: good

If there are any Ten/Rose fans reading this you have to go read Going Home, it's a fantastic Reunion story and can be found here :

http://hippiebanana132.livejournal.com/12263.html 

Now for a few things that made me laugh:

I'm smiling. This should scare you.

The universe is laughing behind your back.

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

I'm not sure what's wrong... But it's probably your fault.

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

The world will end tomorrow (unless postponed by rain).

I never admit or deny anything it makes me more interesting.

By the time you read this you've already read it.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much. You're not that good.

"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

"I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Death is hereditary.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don't blame me - I'm from Uranus.

Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Smile - it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let friends drive Naked.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I souport publik edekasion.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

2 + 2 = 5 for sufficiently large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.